This is a consolidated transcript from a past lecture that had accompanying slides. My hope is that the core ideas continue to resonate, despite their somewhat clumsy presentation in this format. Enjoy! -Dalton
Most of us operate under a model of reality that can be called the Have-Do-Be way of thinking. It’s a materialistic, reductionist, symptom-suppressing paradigm that keeps us in a state of suffering.
It sounds like this:
- “Once I Have the money, I’ll be able to Do the things I want, like travel, and then I’ll Be happy.”
- “Once I Have a partner, I’ll be able to Do things with them, and then I’ll Be loved and secure.”
- “Once I Have some time, I’ll be able to Do something about my health, and then I’ll Be confident and productive.”
This way of thinking never works. Once you get the “Have,” the goalpost just moves. It becomes a proverbial carrot on a stick, and you always have some reason to be unfulfilled. This entire world of thought is essentially saying, “I believe that matter is real and it is in control of my mind.” It’s a Matter Over Mind approach.
What I’m inviting you to consider is that the way the universe actually works is the reverse: Be-Do-Have. This is a Mind Over Matter approach, based on the principle that frequency precedes form and consciousness guides matter.
In other words, if who I am—if my Being, my state, my mind, my energy—is one of pure peace, love, excitement, creativity, and vitality, then it doesn’t matter what I’m Doing; I’m already at peace while I do it. My energy is free to explore, learn, and grow rather than being stuck worrying about what I have.
And regardless of what I Have in my external circumstances, my internal environment is already one of freedom and joy. The irony is that the kind of person who can Be free, vital, and joyful internally is the kind of person who, most likely, will end up having the ideas and forming the relationships that lead to a life of abundance. Not because it was something they were chasing, but because it’s a natural extension of who they already are in their being.
So how do we shift from the flawed model to the effective one? It starts with our language. Our internal dialogue reflects and reinforces our state of being.
We can think of this as a ladder of language:
Level 1: “I should / I have to / I need to.” This is the language of the subconscious, driven by a fear of death, abandonment, or scarcity. There is no freedom here. It’s all a story that creates a state of victimhood, powerlessness, resignation, and pressure. This is the language of the Have-Do-Be model.
Level 2: “I choose to / I am going to.” This is the first step into conscious agency. It’s the recognition that even things we don’t want to do are, on some level, a choice. You may not want to go to your job, but you choose to go because you choose to have a paycheck to pay your rent. This is a powerful shift. It moves you from being a victim of your circumstances to being a conscious participant in your life. This is the bridge between the two models.
Level 3: “I get to / I love to / I am excited to.” This is the language of gratitude, inspiration, and empowerment. This is the language of someone fully living in the Be-Do-Have model. It reframes obligations as opportunities. A parking ticket isn’t a punishment; it’s a contribution to the city’s public services. Preparing for a presentation isn’t a chore you have to do; it’s an opportunity you get to share your work. This state of being is not something you earn; it’s something you access by shifting your perspective.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. By consciously shifting your language from “I have to” to “I choose to,” and eventually to “I get to,” you are not just playing a word game. You are fundamentally altering your state of being, which in turn alters what you do and, ultimately, what you have.