This is a consolidated transcript from a past lecture that had accompanying slides. My hope is that the core ideas continue to resonate, despite their somewhat clumsy presentation in this format. Enjoy! -Dalton
I’d like to explore an assertion I’ve made before: Creation is the best way to break the cycle of self-conflict.
I often like to ask friends and clients, “When do you feel most like yourself?” I encourage you to visualize a few activities or situations where you feel most like yourself.
Almost invariably, people answer with a flow state—a time when they are in the zone, with no voice in their head, just pure engagement or stillness. This could be playing a sport, playing an instrument, having a deep conversation, or writing. It’s often something creative, in nature, or with other people.
Let’s investigate these states for a moment. In a flow state, our mind quiets. The monkey-mind voice that is worrying about our calendar, what someone said about us, or how much money we have, is silent.
Most people are under the impression that that voice—the thoughts in our heads—is “I.” Your name, where you were born, your culture, the thoughts and opinions you have—that’s what most people are referring to when they say, “I am.”
What I like to encourage people to reflect on is that you feel most like yourself when the mind that you identify with is not there—it’s silent.
Let me repeat that. Most people feel most like themselves when their “self” is absent.
The Divided Self
Self-conflict supposes that there is a self that desires something and a self that is trying to override it. An “I” and a “me” that are at odds. Like when people say, “I just can’t live with myself.” How many of you are there? There’s a you that has to stand to live with you?
Or a simpler example: “I just can’t bring myself to get out of bed in the morning.” So there’s a you that has to convince you to do things? This way of relating to life, where you split yourself up, is really exhausting and confusing when you break it down.
This brings us back to our creative flow states. When you are creating, there is no split. You are just doing, you are just present, and what’s more, you’re actually making something—hopefully something that benefits yourself or others.
Getting Out of Your Own Way
You often hear musicians or artists say things like, “I just have to get out of the way and let it come through me.” Notice, through me, not from me. The self that we identify with in everyday waking consciousness is the one that helps us survive—the vigilant ego that’s always looking for threats, opportunities, status, and resources.
When we are in the creative flow state, that self is gone, and something comes through us. It has our own character to it, but it’s not the product of our analytical, monkey-mind.
When you are living creatively, when you are oriented towards flow and providing, your mind tends to be quieter. The quicker and more often you can get into that flow, the more peaceful your monkey-mind becomes, at least in my experience.
This is what I mean when I say that creation is the best way to break the cycle of self-conflict. Because in creation, there is no “self” in the way we typically define it—just presence and flow.
As Lao Tzu supposedly said:
“Those who flow as life flows know they need no other force.”